THE mum behind a support group for people who have lost a child is on a mission to let grieving parents know they are not alone.

Joy Rooke started the Avenue Bereaved Parents support group four years ago after losing her daughter in a car accident.

Debbie Rooke was 31 at the time and worked as a science teacher at De La Salle School, in Basildon.

On that fatal day in 2013, Debbie was cycling in Norfolk, training for a charity cycle for her friend who had died the year before. She was due to take part in the ride the following summer.

Joy, 66, from Westcliff, said: “As she was cycling back, an elderly man fell unconscious at the wheel and drove into her. The man died at the scene and because of the impact, Debbie suffered from brain damage and sadly died a few days later. Her organs were donated.”

During her life, Debbie had been an active volunteer and had spent time volunteering in Uganda, where she helped build a school and taught the children living there.

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Brave - Joy started the bereaved parents support group

Candid Joy described the struggle she faced after Debbie’s death, saying: “When we lost her, we realised just how awful it is to lose a child.

“I go to church and the members there tried to offer me help. It’s hard because they couldn’t understand how I felt.

“I felt I really needed to talk to other bereaved mums; people who could understand how I was feeling.

“One of the people I spoke to was the mother of Debbie’s friend who had died, who she was doing the cycle ride for.

“I thought: ‘If I feel this way, other bereaved parents will too.’”

After starting with only four members all those years ago, the group has now grown to having almost 40 members.

Joy added: “There is a real growing need for those who have gone through these experiences to have that kind of support.

“Just talking to someone who knows your situation and can relate helps them and me. We’ve built friendships from the group.

“When there’s a new member, they’re not always ready to speak straight away but that’s okay, we don’t pressure them to talk. Some people just want to listen. They can say as much or as little as they want.

“We are all so different, but this one thing we have in common brings us together.”

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The group supports parents who have lost their children through any circumstances, including illness, accidents, substance abuse and suicide.

Joy explained some of the experiences members of the group have gone through, saying: “One of our member’s children sadly died in their sleep from an accidental overdose, another had a child pass as a result of motor neurone disease, a few members have had experiences of losing their children as a result of cancer.

“Hearing their stories is very sad, but in a way it helps everyone to know we’re not alone.”

Joy’s support group is part of Compassionate Friends, an organisation which supports bereaved parents.

Members usually meet on the first Monday of the month at 14 Avenue Terrace, Westcliff.

For a casual chat, members can also catch up at the Cliffs Pavilion Cafe, on a Tuesday morning once a month. Call 07779501217.